Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
