Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
