I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
