Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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