You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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