Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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