First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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