i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
