so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
