i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dear god my vagina.
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