Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
