My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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