Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
