don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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