it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How does one acquire holy water?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
