How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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