Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
