If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Text me some of your sweat
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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