you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
