VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
