He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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