Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
