dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
