You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i barfeds in our rink
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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