brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And then he peed in my hair
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