Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
