Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
