I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
