it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
