thus making me awesome and them whores
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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