i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
