In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
