Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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