On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
