I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
