I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
