Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
