Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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