My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
