I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
