The best revenge is premature balding
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
