left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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