smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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