sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
