she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ttyl tear gas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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