phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize