Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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