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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka

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• (530): View more from California

  No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol

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