Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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