my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
