I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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