Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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