I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is my gift to your gina
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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