he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize