They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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