do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm like, not good at living.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize