it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
