Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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