I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize