Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
