i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
