my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's Friday. Sex?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
