when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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